Due to Billys Uni year abroad in Chicago he came back seemingly to have meet half the population in Australia. As a result of this we were very kindly put up in a couples of people houses during our stay in Sydney and as a result got toured round the city so well by the people we stayed that only on the last of our 5 days in Sydney did we look at our Lonely Planet guidebook to find that coincidentally we'd done the top 5 things to do whilst in Sydney. One of things we did do that wasn't in the guidebook was spend a day at 'Paddo Bowls' a bowls club (yer like the ones the grandparents play) that aimed at a 20-30 year old crowd with stag parties and bar! It was a strange experience and an enjoyable the free jugs coming from behind the bar for 4 hours from another of billys 'contacts' probably didnt hurt. The places motto was "bowls with out the olds" and it indeed reujevenated the image of bowls in my eyes. However you wont be finding me struttign my stuff on the green with mildred and hector from next door any time soon!
Obviously being uber keen tourist on the first day we headed straight across the Hobour Bridge and posed in front of the opera house, pretty standard stuff. What we didn't expect was after leaving Asia the first two evening meals we had would be spent in Thai Restaurants (apparently we cant get enough, I told you it would be hard to ween myself off the noodles!) as were we were was full of them and nothing else.
From a money point of view Austrlia makes me want to cry partly out of pain of spending and partly out of confusion.
From sydney we went to the gold coast which we was told was tacky as hell. Now i can tell you iv done a few blackpool holidays in my time and sadly it didnt match up to the donkey on the beach and grannys at the slot machines kinda tackiness you get on the balckpool seafront! It s sad really i was looking forward to some sticks of rock with my name on. Not much happend in surfers, i got all depressed about spending too much money and sulked like a petulant child on the stair to the beach being all rebellious with a beer in my hand ( your not allowed to dirnk on the streets out here) wrapped in a brown paper bag 'coz im badd ass. The main memory ill gave of surfers is getting chucked out a club here, i might add at this point of the tale i was sober. Yer getting chucked out for drinking straight out of a jug,thats it, what is this maddness! Its like getting chucked out for bad manners! and the jug was full and that made me sad. Upon questioning the bouncer outside as to why there was just a bizarre rule he gave the answer as; its for health and safety...... what a tool.
From surfers we hopped our way to Brisbane and found theres fuck all there bar an abundant of jobs... i think its coz no one wants to be there coz it shit. Saying that i had fun. We went to a koala and kangaroo sanctuary and cuddled this smelling little beat named Jorge. He was mexican. I also made friend with homies in the dorm and they took me gay clubbing (while bill who had sniffles stayed all tucked in bed) where i was accosted by hordes of tightly leather clad but handsome men, i was the dish of the night apparently and apparently my grimace and uncomfortable look i wore upon my face only encouraged them it seemed. Still it was a good laugh i spose.
So we made our way to Brisbane and met up with some girls we met in Thailand a couple of times the chaing mai elephant camp entourage i'd like to call ourselves... ill get us all to vote on it and ill let you know the outcome. It all started brillaintly and promptly , its nice making plans that happen on time, id forgotten what this was like with Bill being a friend. Anyway i digress we first went to this packed irish pub with a live irish band and snakebite on demand i was well and truely in my element, king of the snake bite id like to be known i thought. Anyways i was quickly put into unfamilar water when the second destination of a night a salsa club. I must have looked like a dribbling retard all spasmed out on the dance floor strutting my stuff but still it was an experience i enjoyed whilst hundreds of what to me looked like olympic level salsa-ers spans there way round a poor me shuffling side to side. Melborune was my favourite place in Aus it got a very european feel and vibe to it. Its full of alleyways and stairways leading to coffee cafes and sushi gaffes.Theres a quaint little suburb called St Kilda all chocker with road side cafes,bustling with people and set upon the beach front that i could see me frequenting a plenty if i lived there!
We moved on after we ate and drank too much sushi to a farm billy friend owned 5 hours into the countryside from Melbourne. Never in my life have a been somewhere remote, it was a scary time indeed. It was a nice change to get out of the city and see these green things we call trees.While we was at this farm we were cruelly forcefeed steak to the point of explosion. It was a Bull farm you see so they had the most Delicious meat ever known to man, not exaggerating at all. It was just our luck our time there coincided with the biggest business event of the year of this kind family hwo had bestowed us with steak. They sold 140 bulls all penned up outside this big shed they held the auction in. All the farmers all booted and cowboy hatted up nodded and grunted their way to become proud owners of these cute little creatures. Some went at 28,500 grand ! they took 1.2 mill in a day who knew bull farming was so lucrative! quick get the wellies and cattle brand theres money to be made!!!Billy tried to look all cowboy in a double denim scenrio which culminated in us being accused of being a gay couple by these burly and sun hardened farmers. Me and bill get this alot all over the world they think we like have a fiddle with each other. In fact Billy last girlfriend started the very first conversation with him when we were at a pub, the two of us, by approaching us and questioning if we batted for the other team. Apprently she was relieved he wasn't as they shortly after started courting.
ON our last day there we were taken to community meal in the community house in the middle of these farms. People were leaving the area and about 30 people in the community cook and bake cakes and give them a jolly good send off. Firstly it was awesome food and secondly we was involved in a community photo which will be mounted on this club house wall and marked ' The Matterhorns leaving do 2011' and us english lads will b on the wall for years to come, i quite like the idea of two strangers getting in on a community photo and having it mounted over a grand fire place.
Back in Sydney for our flight i met up with a friend from home who i hadnt seen in years and it was rather delightful. We went to the bar under the opera house and the whole city was light up against the harbour waters and it was jolly good!
No comments:
Post a Comment